Me and Marc Holtzman in line at Starbucks

[Open on me in line at Starbucks. I turn around to see Republican candidate for governor Marc Holtzman behind me.]

Me: So, Marc Holtzman, huh?

Marc: Yep. Oh, uh, you're that liberal faux-lobbyist guy.

Me: Yeah, that's me.

Marc: Hm.

[Thirty seconds of awkward silence.]

Me: Uh, like universal healthcare?

Marc: Not really. Like complaining about Denver?

Me: No. Not so much.

[Thirty seconds of awkward silence.]

Marc: You know who I don't like?

Me: Me?

Marc: No. Well, yeah. But you know who else I don't like?

Me: Who?

Marc: Both Ways Bob Beauprez.

Me: Oh my gosh! Me neither!

Marc: The way he refuses to debate me!

Me: That stupid stuff about milking cows!

Marc: The flip flops!

Me: The big spending!

Marc: He's so dumb!

Me: You said it, bro!

[Me and Marc high-five. Then we remember that we don't really like each other all that much. Thirty seconds of awkward silence. Fade to black.]